Kerns Revenge

MMT Training Run #3: Kerns Revenge

The Massanutten Training Academy winter runs are all great events. I signed up extremely late for the 3rd in the series, but once I realized I could go, registration wasn’t closed and the field wasn’t filled up, so I jumped on the opportunity.

The Incredible Stantons

The Stantons RD’d the hell out of this thing. Because of a controlled burn that forced the closing of a portion of the original course, Elaina, Barrett and Christian made the necessary changes to make this thing happen! When I found out we would be doing an out-and-back on Kerns Mountain, I immediately was disgusted, but I had to do it. There’s no chance I would do this on my own!

They also had a Potomac Heritage type of game within the run. The challenges were anyone wearing green; knowing of a runners birthday; and willing to climb Jawbone would get points for each challenge! I love this!

Race Morning

I am not a fan of the 6 am start for these things. So I’m glad that our superstar RDs chose to push it to 7 am. Great move!

At the start I saw my Elizabeth Furnace 50k partner Charlie Poffenberger!

I was happy to see him; we immediately discussed horror stories from EF 50k last week and we were both so happy to have better weather for this one.

If Ya Can’t Duck It, Fk It!**

Going up the surreal funhouse that is Crisman Hollow Road, we stumbled upon an amazing car. A 1990s Ford Escort wagon, covered in duct tape. As we were marveling at it, Ashley Carr passed by and exclaimed: “If ya can’t duck it, f**k it!”

These are the words I am going to use as my mantra for the rest of my life, especially when running.

Heat

In order to settle in to Kerns, Charlie and I discussed a favorite movie of ours: Heat. We especially dove into the Waingro character. Waingro is a piece of shit racist, and a murdering rat who is such a mess, but you find yourself having to discuss him. He is a great character and has some incredible lines. He’s the classic character you love to hate who unfortunately lives rent-free in your mind.

I found myself doing Al Pacino impressions throughout Part One of Kerns. Charlie says I’m getting good at it.

Before we got to the decision point for the Jawbone bonus summit, I told Charlie I didn’t want to be on the trail all day but when we got there of course we went up there and of course it was worth it — the view was incredible up there! I forced myself to drink a pickle juice shot, which was disgusting, but I did it anyway because it was getting really warm.

Aid Station 1: Moreland Gap, Mile 10.5

This place was awesome. I remember even before we got there we were in good spirits talking about some hilarious comedy movies. Wedding Crashers, Old School, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and more. We were joking around and having fun.

At the aid station we feasted on cheese bread puffs, bacon, candy, soda — I basically ate everything! The volunteers were straight up awesome here. Thank you!

Back Again

We were feeling great even though we were about to go back into a Rocky hellscape of doom! It really wasn’t bad at all. We talked a lot about races going through here. MMT 100, C&O 100, The Ring, JFK 50, Quad State — also barfights. We talked about Road House, and the Hagerstown Primanti Bros is kind of like the Double Duce in Roadhouse.

It was actually not that bad doing the out and back. We took it slow and doing it fresh immediately in the front half; it’s not that bad!

Aid Station 2: The Visitor’s Center, Mile 19

Many things were consumed here. Candy, soda — I don’t totally remember exactly what I ate here, but I do remember it being like a little bit of everything they had. The volunteers again were super cool. They had an item I hadn’t had in awhile: Cranberry ginger ale. I didn’t have any but I want it badly now. Need to add it to my grocery list.

Going Up!

We went up Bird Knob. It definitely wasn’t as bad as other times I’ve gone up it. Like Kerns, we just took it at a sensible pace. When we got to the top we slowly started running, as the trail got smoother.

Going Up Again!

Once we got on the purple trail, we did that climb and it was starting to get really warm. This climb here oddly felt tougher than most other places on the course to me.

Easy Livin’

After that last climb, the trail and the running was nice and easy. Of course there’s some rollers, but it wasn’t bad. Charlie and I talked a lot and we’re able to run more. Charlie pushed harder because he started having stomach problems. He told me later he didn’t take in enough salt. I had to force myself to take more, because it was cool in the beginning and it felt like you didn’t need it, but it got fairly hot later in the race. It’s easy to forget it and just not tend to it.

We got to the final little climb into the parking lot at the finish, and it was a party up there! Everyone cheered for us, and Dan Aghdam made me a burger! I sat down, and hung out with Lou Brooks and his beautiful daughter. I socialized with friends, and Christian Stanton gave me a bunch of patches to give to my buddy Donald Harms. Donald is a police superfan and also just got a 3:07 marathon at The Shamrock Marathon over the weekend! Yayyy Team Donald!

For anyone looking for a challenging race with just an amazing family-like environment, with no toxic bs, at a fair price and a with a race director who is extremely dedicated to the cause, then the MMT 100 is definitely for you! I’ve run a lot of races and DNF’d many. MMT is hard but you know what the difference is? The VHTRC cares and wants you to finish. They will do anything to keep you going. Other races are not like this - instead you just give up your bib and they are like: cool, see ya later!

MMT is a legendary race and you will not find a vibe like it elsewhere!

Photos